iG.STUDiO: Ilya I. Gerasimenko

OK. I never had any significant luck when I order something with delivery. One way or another, something will ALWAYS go wrong. The following is merely a documented process of getting the item I bought on the web, delivered by UPS, no rush, regular 2-5 business days option. Tracking info from UPS website: US 01/10/2008 6:52 P.M. BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED KANSAS CITY, KS, US 01/10/2008 7:17 P.M. ORIGIN SCAN KANSAS CITY, KS, US 01/11/2008 1:31 A.M. DEPARTURE SCAN SECAUCUS, NJ, US 01/14/2008 10:30 A.M. ARRIVAL SCAN SECAUCUS, NJ, US 01/15/2008 1:37 A.M. DEPARTURE SCAN NEW YORK, NY, US 01/15/2008 1:58 A.M. ARRIVAL SCAN 01/15/2008 6:48 A.M. OUT FOR DELIVERY So far so good, right? I was smart, too—gave them my office address, just to make sure I won't miss it. Now, at around noon I go to the restroom, strangely located outside the office's backdoor, next to a freight eleva...

I feel sooo old. Somehow, when Microsoft announced the end of support for the Internet Explorer for Mac at the version 5.2, I didn't feel that weird, but I always was a bit of a fan of NN—just to stick it to the man, I guess—, even after I switched to Firefox a couple of years ago and made it a primary browser on my Windows machines, having Safari rule my Mac environment. Surviving a web browser may not be a life-changing experience, but it does make one ponder...

First things first—after a year (at least) of drooling over one, I finally decided to cash in my almost-two-years-of-non-smoking credits, and got myself an EWI . It sounds a bit like a medical condition, and frankly, it's quite mental, because I can't stop playing with it. So far it seems to be an amusingly addictive instrument even with a stock soundbank—I plan on making my own patches later, as soon as I figure out how to use that UniQuest joke of a software—worst of all, it can be played in headphones, so I can do it even at 4am if I wanted to. So far, I have more fun then problems playing it, in spite of its little fingering differences (I use SA(x) mode), and totally different breathing technique. Now comes the connectivity part. I've used FastTrack USB for a couple of years with a microphone through the XLR input with no problems, but when I tried to connect a line output of EWI's synthesizer to the line input of the FastTrack, the signal level was very low. T...

Well, to put it shortly—if the best number in your variety show is performed by the quick-change artists, and the second best is Chinese acrobats (and even they cheated and bailed out of properly dismounting from the top of the chair tower), there is something wrong with the rest of the people on the show. I rightfully expect Ellen's Really BIG Variety Show —if I remember the name correctly—in it's dreadfull boringness to be challenged only by the annual Macy's Thanksgiving Parade . Should have gone to bed at 9 p.m., but didn't. Shame on me.

Nothing special, really, just updated the blogger template for the sake of trying something new. And, yea, I lost my previous template backup somehow, so there was no way back. Now I have found my backup, but I don't like it anymore, so I am going to stay with this template for a while. Who cares.

I: (touch the Bluetooth headset button) Phone: (beeps ascending scale, then in a female voice) Please, say a command. I: Call Darya. Phone: Command not recognized. Please, say a command. I: Call Dar. Phone: Did you say (pause, then in a male distorted voice) Darrin ? I: No! Phone: (in a female voice) Did you say (in a male distorted voice) Dennis ? I: NO! DARYA! I SAID DARYA !!! Phone: (in a female voice) Are you sure? Because I'am pretty sure you said David ... Which is strange, since there is nobody by that name in your Contacts. Neither there is Darrin , nor Dennis . My battery is low. And I am tired. And you are nuts. Please, say a command. I: Fuck you. Phone: Command not recognized. Go fuck yourself. Please, say a command. Phone: Command timed out. (beeps descending scale) I: (sigh) ...

I must admit that I am severely spoiled, when it comes to public transportation. Having lived in Moscow for half a decade and spent nearly three hours a day commuting, I grew accustomed to the impeccable logic of the one of the world's largest cities' "metro". There are, as I see it, two major rules, which the builders followed through the whole process, and oh, boy, they work; they really do. Rule one: there is one line per physical track . If you got on the train in a hurry you don't have to worry about what train you are on, A, B, C, or E, and whether you have to get off on the next stop and wait for your train, because this one ain't the one you need. It always is. Rule two: the platform is always between the tracks . If you spaced out, fell asleep, or for any other reason missed your stop, all you have to do is get off, cross the platform, get on the train and go back. It is simple and it works like a charm. Overall structure is simple as well; one circu...