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On Voice Recognition

I: (touch the Bluetooth headset button)
Phone: (beeps ascending scale, then in a female voice) Please, say a command.
I: Call Darya.
Phone: Command not recognized. Please, say a command.
I: Call Dar.
Phone: Did you say (pause, then in a male distorted voice) Darrin?
I: No!
Phone: (in a female voice) Did you say (in a male distorted voice) Dennis?
Phone: (in a female voice) Are you sure? Because I'am pretty sure you said David... Which is strange, since there is nobody by that name in your Contacts. Neither there is Darrin, nor Dennis. My battery is low. And I am tired. And you are nuts. Please, say a command.
I: Fuck you.
Phone: Command not recognized. Go fuck yourself. Please, say a command.
Phone: Command timed out. (beeps descending scale)
I: (sigh) ...

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