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On UPS Communications And Delivery Options

OK. I never had any significant luck when I order something with delivery. One way or another, something will ALWAYS go wrong. The following is merely a documented process of getting the item I bought on the web, delivered by UPS, no rush, regular 2-5 business days option.
Tracking info from UPS website:
US 01/10/2008 6:52 P.M. BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED
KANSAS CITY, KS, US 01/10/2008 7:17 P.M. ORIGIN SCAN
KANSAS CITY, KS, US 01/11/2008 1:31 A.M. DEPARTURE SCAN
SECAUCUS, NJ, US 01/14/2008 10:30 A.M. ARRIVAL SCAN
SECAUCUS, NJ, US 01/15/2008 1:37 A.M. DEPARTURE SCAN
NEW YORK, NY, US 01/15/2008 1:58 A.M. ARRIVAL SCAN
01/15/2008 6:48 A.M. OUT FOR DELIVERY

So far so good, right? I was smart, too—gave them my office address, just to make sure I won't miss it.
Now, at around noon I go to the restroom, strangely located outside the office's backdoor, next to a freight elevator, and find a UPS info notice, slapped on the door. The back door, the one which is never open, and doesn't even have a doorbell.

Darn. Why wouldn't they deliver through the front door?
OK, let's check the website, just to make sure:
01/15/2008 11:48 A.M. THE RECEIVER'S LOCATION WAS CLOSED ON THE 1ST DELIVERY ATTEMPT. A 2ND DELIVERY ATTEMPT WILL BE MADE

OK, I am screwed. Let's call the number on the notice.
Phone robot: "Thank you for calling UPS..."—blah-blah-blah, navigate through the voice recognition menu to change the delivery option to hold for pick-up—wait! the robot girl says "it's still early in the day, would you like us to try a second delivery attempt?"—YES!!! OF COURSE!!! GREAT!!!—"Someone will call you within an hour to confirm... blah-blah-blah". Good. Back to work.

Two hours pass. No call.

I call again. "We are in a process of arranging your delivery. Someone will call you within an hour, if not already done so to confirm..." OK, this is not working. Let's check the website. Two new entries:
01/15/2008 12:40 P.M. A DELIVERY CHANGE REQUEST FOR THIS PACKAGE WILL BE PROCESSED / SAME DAY WILL CALL
01/15/2008 1:33 P.M. SAME DAY WILL CALL / ARRANGEMENTS HAVE BEEN CONFIRMED WITH CUSTOMER

Hm. I was going to ask for a will call, but the robot girl convinced me to try re-delivery. Let's call again:
"We are in a process of arranging your delivery. Someone will call you within an hour, if not already done so to confirm..." What if I press "0"? Ahha! Live operator! YES!!! Can I change an address for this delivery? I can? GREAT!!! Can you deliver tomorrow to my home address, because I am going to work from home tomorrow? Excellent!!! Thank you very much!!! 9AM–7PM? Not a problem, I'll be there.
Let's check the website, just in case:
01/15/2008 4:18 P.M. THE DELIVERY CHANGE REQUEST FOR THIS PACKAGE WAS MODIFIED / DELIVERY TO AN ALTERNATE ADDRESS WAS REQUESTED

Looking good. I go home and watch "American Idol" freak show.

All that was yesterday. This morning I check the website again:
01/15/2008 6:18 P.M. THE RECEIVER REQUESTED A HOLD FOR A FUTURE DELIVERY DATE. UPS WILL ATTEMPT DELIVERY ON DATE REQUESTED / AS REQUESTED, THE RECEIVER WILL PICKUP AT A UPS FACILITY AT THEIR CONVENIENCE. THIS MUST BE WITHIN 5 BUSINESS DAYS

This is strange. Yesterday at 6:18 P.M. I was in a subway. And even if I wasn't, I didn't request a hold. And even if I did, what does THIS mean:
"UPS WILL ATTEMPT DELIVERY ON DATE REQUESTED / AS REQUESTED, THE RECEIVER WILL PICKUP AT A UPS FACILITY AT THEIR CONVENIENCE"
Aren't those mutually exclusive options?

I call again and press "0". My package is being indeed held for me. In Manhattan, naturally. What happened to the delivery to the home address? They don't know.

Oh, but I do. Tomorrow, when I will try to pick it up, it will be on the truck to Queens...

Fearing that, I call again to be told that the package is going to be there for 5 business days, and I will definitely be able to pick it up tomorrow. Good.

I am not even going to ask why the address they gave me is not listed on their website...

________

Update on the situation: as planned, I went to the UPS store to pick up my package. To my pleasant surprise, it was, indeed, waiting for me there. The clerk couldn't find it for a while, but finally did.
Just for kicks - let's check the website:
NEW YORK, NY, US 01/17/2008 1:41 P.M. DELIVERY
01/17/2008 1:41 P.M. THE RECEIVER REQUESTED A HOLD FOR A FUTURE DELIVERY DATE. UPS WILL ATTEMPT DELIVERY ON DATE REQUESTED / THE RECEIVER PICKED UP THE PACKAGE THAT WAS BEING HELD FOR THEM

Just tell me one thing: how are they planning to attempt the delivery, if I already picked it up?

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